5 Truths That Will Sharpen Your Mental Edge - Nathan Tebedo

In this video, Nathan Tebedo shares 5 truths that will sharpen your mental edge. If you're chasing curiosity and seeking to expand your mind, this video is a must-watch.

Jim Johnson and Nathan Tebedo explore the lost art of quiet contemplation in our distraction-filled world. Learn practical strategies for developing mental clarity, challenging your beliefs, and creating fertile ground for deep thinking without constant technological interruption.

CHAPTERS:
00:00 Introduction to the Prosperous Human Podcast
00:40 Jim's Personal Journey to Selflessness
01:37 The Seven Elements of a Fulfilled Life
02:25 Exploring Mental Strength and Capability
03:56 Introducing Nathan: The Curious Mind
10:51 The Importance of Quiet Contemplation
13:20 Balancing Distractions and Deep Thinking
29:36 Challenging Absolute Statements
39:58 The Importance of Thinking Beyond the Surface
41:41 Managing Emotions and Mental Strength
50:53 The Impact of Physical Health on Mental Well-being
55:17 Engaging Different Parts of the Brain
01:02:02 The Value of Community and Feedback
01:16:21 Concluding Thoughts and Encouragement

⚡️ Get the guide + The Prosperity Fundamentals course for FREE in the pH community: https://www.skool.com/ph7/about

Transcript

Jim Johnson: 0:01

Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the Prosperous Human podcast, where we help people, uh, take a journey towards living in the sweet spot. This place that isn't in the extremes where most of our society tends to find themselves, which causes us to be divided and separated from each other. And, uh, ultimately the goal is to get ourselves right. So that we can then build bridges instead of burn them, uh, to serve other people well, and lead this life where we feel fulfilled, joyful, and unburdened. I'm your host, Jim Johnson. Uh, I have been practicing, uh, this journey towards living a prosperous life for about 20 years now, ever since. Uh, pretty dark time in my life, had a radical change in my life to going from the most selfish human being on the planet to trying to be the most selfless person on the planet. I attempt to achieve that each and every day. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes not so much, but I want to help others open doors. To these seven elements, uh, that I was able to discover over about a 10 year study, observation, and journey. Uh, that are things that we want in our lives and don't really know that they exist or how to put our finger on it. Sometimes you feel like there's a gap somewhere. It's like, hey, things are going pretty good, but I just still don't feel great. There's something missing. I don't feel fulfilled. Maybe I'm not as happy as I thought I was going to be. And so, um, after about 10 years of studying, I found these seven things that I think all humans desire to have this. Feeling of living fulfilled and in the sweet spot. So the seven things are our mind, our time, our body, our community, our work, our spiritual aspect, and ultimately our impact. If we're not in the right space in each one of those places, you feel like something's off. So now you at least know what they are, my invitation to you is to investigate into them. Open the door that provokes you most and start to take the journey towards getting a little bit deeper in that thing to find out what it is that's pressing you. And today we're going to talk about the element of the mind, mental strength and capability, and we do this thing called a litmus test. Where we, uh, test whether we're way in the positive or way in the negative when it comes to our mental state to define whether we are living in an extreme or in the sweet spot. You can think of it like a litmus test whenever you test water. Uh, you're either eating away at something or you're building up something if you're in the extremes, or if you're in the sweet spot, you feel harmonious. Each one of these seven things affect the other seven things. And so we have to find this place where we might be pushing in one, and it's costing us something in another, but not so much that it's costing us the things that are important to us. Like I said, today we're going to talk about the mind. And specifically, whenever we get to this, we start to, uh, get these questions. Like, hey, uh, I get it. Like, as far as my mental health strength and capability goes, I feel like I'm in the sweet spot. But, whenever I think about mindset, I might be over here on the negative, or when I think about curiosity, I might be over here on the positive. And so, it's peeling back the layers of the onion to get depth into each one of those things so that we can fine tune this idea of living in the sweet spot. And the subject I want to talk about today is one that's fascinating to me. And I thought I would bring one of the people that really exemplifies this best in my life into the conversation. So I'm going to welcome in right now, my guy, Nathan, we hope. Let's, uh, there we go. I always click the wrong button on that. There he is, all blurry. Now he's, now he's nice and clear. Um, Nathan is a really good friend of mine. He's been a friend of mine for, wow, how many years has it now? Since 2010? Yeah, 14 years. Uh, I actually hired Nathan. He was working for a company I sold something to and, uh, and I saw his talent. Uh, he was interested in what we were doing, brought him in and, uh, he now actually works for me on the coaching side of my business as well. Uh, coaching lots of home service companies to be successful. And one of the things that always attracted me to Nathan was the fact of how curious he was. about why things were the way they were, and the amount of depth and time and energy he put into that. And so Nathan, um, say hi to everybody, first off.

Nathan Tebedo: 4:55

Hello everybody. Glad to be here. I got my super cool, uh, pH seven hat on,

Jim Johnson: 5:01

Yeah, he does. He does. I think it looks pretty sharp.

Nathan Tebedo: 5:04

the conversation.

Jim Johnson: 5:06

And so, Nathan has been a part of this journey for me, and putting together what this PH7 Prosperous Human thing is. It was always something that kind of lived in my own brain until I was prompted by a question that brought it out into the light. And then everybody was like, hey, you should probably share this. And so I said, well, okay, I'm going to get some help. I don't think you do anything individually that is amazing, uh, or as amazing as it could be if you do it with other people. So I brought some people in I trust, a good friend of mine, Reggie, Nathan, several others, and just said, hey. I'm, I'm working this thing out, kind of bounce some ideas off of you, give me some feedback. And I went to those people that get really deep in areas. And so Nathan, uh, has been super helpful in getting this a little bit more refined and clear so we can make it practical and tactical and helpful for everybody else out there. So Nathan, I described you as like Mr. Curious. Why is that?

Nathan Tebedo: 6:08

Um, so I think I can attribute my dad, um, a great deal. And then also, uh, probably just my personality a bit in my dad's one of my dad's number one goals with myself and all my brothers, and if you were to meet all my brothers and my sister, you'd notice like They are, they're thinkers. Um, they ask questions, they, they analyze, they diagnose. Um, my dad was big into uh, logic, and logic construction and thinking logically and, and, and, and coming to conclusions and beliefs in a way that was um, defendable. In other words, you believe a certain thing which caused you to act a certain way Can you defend your belief? Is there, is there substance to your belief? Um, and so being brought up that way, and then probably also my personality somewhat, however it is that God put me together. Um, I always wonder why, and Jim, you kind of hit it on the head when we were talking before this, why things work the way they work. Like, why is it that we see certain themes in life? Why do you tend to have Two schools of thought around something. Um, you know, what is the process behind arriving at a, at a, at a conclusion or at a result? Um, and or do those numbers add up? You know, I like to question people will ascribe a certain set of circumstances to a result. Not all the circumstances they subscribe to that result might have been the real reason for it to happen. So A lot of those, those, those questions are things that bounce around in my mind. Why did somebody say something like that? Why, why do we see this kind of thing happen? What, why do we glorify this thing? And we tend to look down on this thing. Um, what's really, really important in life. Um, and why don't we chase it? Versus things that we tend to chase, things that we say aren't as important. And so, all of these things just make me curious. Um, and almost all of them are surrounded around people though, I will say that. Um, I don't get real curious about machines. Um, I tend to think, well, you know, if you read the book on it, you'd probably figure out why this machine works the way it does or something, or if somebody explained it to you. And so those shows, like how it's made. I don't like, I don't really care for the most.

Jim Johnson: 8:41

That's

Nathan Tebedo: 8:41

Okay, cool. That's how they make a golf ball. Interesting. You know, that, that doesn't, I don't sit around thinking about that. I tend to think more about, Why do people act a certain way? Why do they speak a certain way? Why are some people more popular? Why are some people not as popular? You know, uh, why, why do people act a certain way or just things like that, that, that, that I'm very, very interested in.

Jim Johnson: 9:05

Hmm. Um, and I felt like it tends to be three areas of that, that I have observed, like how people are wired about what they're curious about. And you mentioned two of them, like objects, right? Like why is that object the way it is? And could you make it better? And that kind of stuff. Uh, I think of that as more of the engineering type mind, mechanical type mind. And there's the. Then there's the, why is that person doing the thing they're doing, or why do people do what they do, um, type of thing. And I look at those as a little bit more philosophical, like that's kind of the, the genre they follow underneath. But then there's one that kind of crosses between the two that I, I, uh, I look at as conceptual. Like these concepts that are out there, whether they're based on people or, um, laws of nature, like why is that concept the way it is? Why, why, why is that something that's a thing? And so, um, I tend to see you, like you said, a lot towards the, the human aspect of things, and you're just really curious about, I don't know, why don't you take more time to think about what you say? Uh, why did you, um, do that thing? Because that causes you a problem, and you're constantly, like, looking at this world as, like, hey, You know the thing you're doing is going to lead to a problem at some point. Why didn't you think a little bit more about, like, down the road what that looks like? So, um, when it comes to people and your curiosity about people, what are some of the things that stick out to you? Like, these are things I've really spent a lot of time being curious about, and this is what I've noticed.

Nathan Tebedo: 10:46

Um, gosh. One of the things that stuck out to me about people, and I take this for granted, I think, is how much time people actually spend thinking, like just quietly thinking about a thing. And how many times I've, I've, I've heard people, whether they say it to me or anybody else, I never thought about it that way. And I'm, and, and oftentimes,

Jim Johnson: 11:14

statement!

Nathan Tebedo: 11:15

Yeah, when I, when I, when I hear that, I'm like, you know, how much, how much thought effort would it have taken for you to get to the place where you would have thought of something that way? And then I started thinking, well, what does somebody's daily routine look like? Do people spend time quietly thinking, or with all the tools that we have, are people just driven towards being distracted constantly? Like whether it's music or whether it's a podcast or a television show, or even just reading a book or like, do people actually get quiet? And then contemplate stuff. And I've

Jim Johnson: 11:50

observation on that?

Nathan Tebedo: 11:52

well, I think that it's become less common because of the tools we have to distract us. And those, those tools were literally built to distract you. I mean, we've got things that it's like, there's research on, I think the Dorito chip and how much money they spent trying to figure out how to make the perfect chip. Well, that's exactly what they've done with this thing. And only times of times, probably a billion figuring out how to make this thing have your attention all the time. Well, if you go back, I don't know if you go back a few, even 100 years where many of these things didn't exist, there were fewer things to distract. So I'd be willing to bet. That quiet contemplation used to be more common, um, where people just like you're sitting on a plow and you don't have a radio and you don't have AM FM, you don't have a phone, you know, you're plowing a field like what's your brain doing? Is it literally just off, you know, and I'll be willing to bet there probably are some people that do that their brain just kind of goes off. Um, but there's probably time for that, uh, but then there's just this section where it's like, it's just you and your brain. I think now we have the ability for things to tell our brain what it needs to process so often. And so I think people do tend to spend less time being focused and, and allowing themselves to just take an idea and kick it around.

Jim Johnson: 13:21

Do you think that's a good thing or a bad thing that those Distractions exist out there to maybe solve some of the problems you already have. Like, you don't have to think about it anymore. Do you think that's a good thing or a bad thing?

Nathan Tebedo: 13:33

It's both. both like I can use a hammer to pound a nail in or I can use it to, you know, beat somebody with one of those things is pretty good. The other thing is probably not that great. So I think that these tools are really, really cool because they can help you to solve problems faster. Um, and that and then I think is powerful. But if it's distracting you from literally thinking cognitive, like thinking deeply about a thing, then it's not good. You know, you're like, man, this person said this thing to me today and it really got me like, why, like, why did that thing get me, why did it bother me? So, and all of a sudden your phone goes off, ding, and it's a text message or it's a social media alert, and then you just kind of move on from that instead of maybe taking that time to really, it just kind of, it's out and it might've been a really good idea to sit and contemplate why that thing affected you the way that it did and what's going on there, but don't have the time. I need to figure out what. Cardi B did recently or something like that.

Jim Johnson: 14:36

I have noticed that. Like, now that I'm much more aware of these things that are distracting, I also notice how much more they annoy me. Like, if you're sitting in the airport and somebody has their, um, notifications on, it's going ding, ding, like, it's distracting me because it exists, like, it's just happening. And it's also distracting me because of how annoying that is to me, and there's this lack of awareness of that other human being, of how it could affect. Somebody sitting around them, then just add on top of that, somebody watching a live video or a recorded video on YouTube out loud with no headphones on. Like that part right there, like you are, you are a distraction I cannot control, I can't do anything about that. Other than moving I guess, I can move. So, um, distraction is a problem. Do you have any suggestions on, on what people could do to maybe, because I know where you're at, right? And I know where I'm at when it comes to that kind of stuff. We are very intentional about the quiet time that we take. For example, pretty much from five to seven o'clock this morning, I was writing, reading, studying, thinking, researching that kind of stuff on some of the things I'm working on for Prosperous Human. And I know that you spend quite a bit of time first thing in the morning, uh, with, Bible city, and you're there for like an hour most times, right? I don't think most people get there from the start. They don't like flip a switch and go, I'm going to spend an hour or two, um, in quiet contemplation. Is there like some steps people could take or some environmental changes that people could do that might be steps along the way to getting that hunger? Because here's the thing I found. I started out kind of small. But now I'm doing a lot more, it's because I'm hungry for it. Like, dude, I just love it. It's like this quiet time that's mine now that I own to add to my own wisdom, because I enjoy seeking wisdom. Is there any like things that you found them helpful to do that for folks out there?

Nathan Tebedo: 16:44

Well, I think with all things, you got to start with an awareness. Like, am I really distracted? Do I actually sit and think about things? Like you gotta become aware of it,

Jim Johnson: 16:55

Oh, that's our three questions.

Nathan Tebedo: 16:56

Yeah. You gotta be like, they're like,

Jim Johnson: 16:57

What, what do I believe? Why do I believe it? And is it true, right?

Nathan Tebedo: 17:01

Yeah. So that awareness is, is what has to happen for. And then, and then once you have that awareness or maybe you're not sure, then you got to test it. So then you got to test it. Like, okay, well, what if I turned off? All of my stuff for a little bit like what if I just turned it all off? Okay, what then like is it? I don't know. When do you do that? If I turned off, I could turn off all my stuff and go upstairs with my kids and I'm not going to have time to think like it's just going to be, I got these two little ones. It's just going to be chasing the little ones, right? So if you're going, if you want to figure out how distracted you are and what it's like to be alone with your thoughts, You got to turn kind of everything off, which I think is one of the reasons why people tend to do it in the mornings is because it is the time generally that you can control the most. I mean, even at the end of your day, you can't necessarily,

Jim Johnson: 17:55

one of my favorite things whenever I'm talking about these concepts and I'll ask people, when was the last time you took just 15 minutes undistracted to think and about half the crowd will raise their hand. And I'm like, and you weren't driving or listening to music.

Nathan Tebedo: 18:16

and then everybody's hand goes down.

Jim Johnson: 18:18

Boom! Hands down. Like, that's where we think we get our quiet time is when we drive, or when we're on a walk with our music on, and like that kind of stuff. We're talking zero distraction. Complete silence. Not moving around. Not driving. Because While you're driving, you're distracted, or at least I hope you are, that you're paying attention to what the heck you're doing out there, or I don't want to be on the road with you. And so you're not retaining whatever it is you're trying to learn nearly as much as you would if you were in that quiet place of thinking. Um, so, so, okay, we got to

Nathan Tebedo: 18:54

to remember too, is also just because you're taking information in doesn't mean it's doing you, doing you any good.

Jim Johnson: 19:03

dig into that, what do you mean by that?

Nathan Tebedo: 19:04

So what I mean is, is, is you might be listening to some music and it feels good. Now, in that case, I think that's a whole different category. Like listening to music maybe calms your, calms your brain, chills you out, gets you fired up. Like that's a little, I feel like that's a different category, but just because you're listening to a podcast or listening to a sermon or listening to a book or whatever, you're taking in this data doesn't necessarily mean that it's helping you if you don't do anything with it or if you forget it within 10 minutes. So I think a lot of people will like, it's like, it's like if you had a giant vat of vitamins and minerals and you just soaked in it, right, but you didn't actually get any vitamins or minerals in your mouth and down into your gut. That didn't really do you any good. And so I think a lot of us are just soaking in vitamins and minerals all the time thinking that we're just gonna absorb some of that and it's gonna do it versus being like, okay, I should probably take this, this cup and, you know, drink the, you know, whatever or pop the, the supplements. That's actually going to help you. That'll help you. You, you do a few supplements like this that go down into you versus sitting in a giant vat of supplements. That's better. That much that you take in and use is better than this much that you do nothing with.

Jim Johnson: 20:27

that's a great analogy. I really like that. You, you, uh, you're good with those, no doubt about it. Um, do you have any kind of Order or process or framework with how you approach being curious about stuff.

Nathan Tebedo: 20:47

Well, it, it, I think for me it either starts with an objective or a question. Like, I want to get better at golf. That's an objective. So, I need to investigate it, I need to listen, I need to watch, I need to practice, I need to do things, right? And so, and I need to think about, okay, well how am I going to do that? You know, put some mental energy, so that's an objective.

Jim Johnson: 21:12

Need to heed instruction.

Nathan Tebedo: 21:14

Yeah, well, I need to listen to people, you know, um, or the other one is a question like, like, once again, that person said this thing and it really got me and I was pissed off at them. But now that I think about what they said. They didn't really say anything that wrong. So why did that, why did that do that to me? I got to figure out the answer to this question or, um, you know, why, why is something the way that it is? Right? So then there's a question that you want to think about and cogitate. There you go. Is your, your Scrabble word for the week. You want to, you know, cogitate on that thing for a little while. Sometimes it's internal, sometimes it's external. Like, why is it that people are so, why is the forgiveness is so rare today? Be an interesting question. Think, sit and think about that. You get canceled, which I think that's starting to go away, but somebody does something and it's kind of outrageous and it's wrong and then you're done. You're it, that you, you are, you're anathema to society and to the zeitgeist and to, and you know, you're out, right?

Jim Johnson: 22:18

This is actually a great example of like kind of what we touched on at the beginning of this, like how yours was very people related there. Why don't, why aren't people more forgiving? And we went on a retreat together. If you remember one of the concepts we talked about was what's the difference between mercy and grace. So that's conceptual, that's not necessarily about an individual or even a group of people, just this concept of mercy and grace. Are they the same thing? Are they different?

Nathan Tebedo: 22:43

sit and think about it.

Jim Johnson: 22:45

Yeah, we actually, like, we took a whole, like, hour long bus ride

Nathan Tebedo: 22:48

yeah, do I, you know, have I actually forgiven? Some people that I need to forgive, you know, or you know, are there people I need to show some more grace to you know And then it's gosh, especially if you're a leader of some kind This is so incredible so even so much more important that you learn to to engage in curiosity and grow your mental strength because if You are kind of mentally and emotionally weak Then your, your, your team, your people, there's gonna be jerking your chain constantly. Like they're going to make you angry over here, make you happy over here. And you're just a constant roller coaster. And you're not the solid rock that that leader needs to be. And that requires an enormous amount of mental strength. And so you have to eliminate some distractions in some cases, but then, but then I think. As that discipline, and I think it's probably a discipline, the ability to shut things down and just sit and think about something for a while, um, and as that discipline increases, I think that as the discipline increases, you can begin to reintroduce inputs in order to help you through your thinking.

Jim Johnson: 23:54

What do you mean by inputs?

Nathan Tebedo: 23:56

so I'll give an example. Um, my mornings, like we talked about this a little bit where I try to take this time in the morning. I get up about 5 30 every morning or so. Um, and hopefully I can grab an hour, an hour and a half before my little girl wakes up. Right. So, um, and I, and I too, I read and I, and I, and I meditate and I try to think on subjects. I try to write about them. However, I also do all of those things on this. And if you, if you're only listening, I'm holding up an iPad. Okay, I'm holding up an iPad. So

Jim Johnson: 24:31

He's married to that thing, I think.

Nathan Tebedo: 24:32

I love my iPad. Now here's the thing about this iPad. It has a turn off all notifications feature on it, right? So nobody can forcibly make their way into that time. If I turn that thing on. Okay. Now, when I say inputs, I mean, if I hit a roadblock in my thinking around something, I can introduce an input. Okay. So in other words, I could Google something. Okay. And it's, I'm telling you, it's systemic. You open up a Google page, you have the search bar and what's below it. Everything Google knows you like to pay attention to. And there's everything. So for

Jim Johnson: 25:11

a really cool sponsor to ask. Hmm.

Nathan Tebedo: 25:12

Oh my God. Like if I open up a Google search page, top of the list, there's probably going to be some F1 news every, every time. And I open it and I have to ignore that, but then I can type in and search. Whatever this thing is where I've hit a roadblock in my thinking. But if you're incapable of ignoring that, then you're, then you have to keep that input out.

Jim Johnson: 25:38

Have you, have you found any help with that now, with some of the AI tools that are out there, whether it be a chat GPT? Um, you know, there's Claude, um, Gemini, and I think the other big one, and the one that I've really, like, now I've honed in on it is Perplexity AI, because it allows me to ask, like, those deep questions and does some deep research. I'm still filtering it, because I know it's coming from AI, so it's just a combination of a bunch of things out there to come to an assertation that it believes is intelligent. But it does give me the prompts, the insight, and even some details and stats. To further my thinking. Have you, have you used any of that kind of stuff at all? Because the reason I started doing it, there's no ads on it. guess there's no distraction.

Nathan Tebedo: 26:24

I'm just dipping my toe into it. I have yet to download. I think perplexity was recommended to me.

Jim Johnson: 26:31

Are you, are you a little bit like hands off on the AI thing? Because you're like still just not, I'm not sure that's valuable or not.

Nathan Tebedo: 26:37

well, I think it is valuable. I just think that you need to, you need to have a really strong grasp of. Of I think reality and a really strong grasp of what AI is and what it does. Cause AI, AI is not an end all be all to truth. And as a matter of fact, AI is not entirely sure what the truth is. They've shown that it will make it up.

Jim Johnson: 27:01

I saw, I saw a guy, I, I, I'm studying about this like crazy because I don't want to be my parents that fell behind on technology. I just want to avoid that. And I was watching an article about this and he said AI is truthiness. It's not truth. And so it's, it's in the realm, but is it absolute truth? No. And I'm, and I'm really of the mindset of like, is there any absolute truth out there? It's kind of questioning some of that right now, although I have some of my own personal beliefs that I would do say, yes, there is. But most things are what I believe now, as of this moment, it could be proven wrong at any time with any piece of research, any new thing that comes out. I think about it. At one point, everybody thought the earth was flat. And then they went, Oh, now it's round. Now we got weird people going back to it being flat. But, um, it's, it's what you believe now based on the data and facts that you have available to you, um, to go to the closest thing to the truth that you have, which is truthiness, um, which I thought was pretty insightful of like what AI kind of is, I

Nathan Tebedo: 28:06

I would, I would agree with that. I just, like I said, I, I just try to, I'm kind of dipping my toe into it because I am interested in, in, in how it can help me and what I can do with it. Um, You know, in, in, in that case, you kind of, in a way, you kind of outsource the research a little bit, which research is an enormous time. I don't want to say time suck because the juice, the juice is definitely worth the squeeze when you got to research something. It's why when you were a kid in school, they're like, you got to go do research. Why? Because they, they wanted you to learn how to learn. So if you have a question, how do you answer your own question? So you got to go research it. Well, now AI is kind of like, Oh, I got an answer for you, whether that answer's right or wrong. Um, so, but I, I'm, I'm probably going to start dipping into that just a little bit for the purposes of, of being

Jim Johnson: 28:58

think you, I think you will like perplexity for this one specific reason. Any of the facts or knowledge pieces that are stated as like, this is the thing, they have the, the, um, they got these little buttons you can click to it next to go see the source, like where they pulled that information from, which I find valuable, like, hey, okay, I get to go closer to the root. Um, so I noticed one of the things about it. This is, this is one of those ones that really sticks out about me. And really one of the main reasons I wanted to have you on the show today. You are not the hugest fan of opinion. uh, and, and so, um. You do something pretty unique, and I kind of want to see if you're just going to say it or if I got to like tell you what it is that you do, but somebody states something as fact, you know, and you see it all day long, every day on social media, the gurus that are talking out there, whoever it may be, right now, they're spouting off all kinds of stuff. This is the way things are. When you do something very unique that I learned from you, now I do it as well. What, what is your comeback to that?

Nathan Tebedo: 30:14

My comeback to somebody stating something is fact.

Jim Johnson: 30:17

Yeah.

Nathan Tebedo: 30:19

Oh, sounds like something I do that I'm not aware of.

Jim Johnson: 30:21

Ah, you're aware of it as soon as I say it. You always say, is there an example of where that's not true?

Nathan Tebedo: 30:29

Ah, yes. Yeah. So, yeah,

Jim Johnson: 30:31

Like, yeah, hey, yeah, everybody believes that thing over there. This is what everybody's talking about. Can I think of any way that that is not true? Oh, hot dog, guess what? There is a place like that.

Nathan Tebedo: 30:41

right. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, that's true. Um, I, I, I, I will challenge ideas. And I think that sometimes that's the way I challenge them. I challenge an idea with somebody puts an idea out there and they go, this is the thing. And then I have to go, okay, how true is the, is it as absolutely true as they're stating? Okay. And the way to figure that out is if I can think of a circumstance where it's the exactly the opposite of what they're saying, right? Like,

Jim Johnson: 31:12

The carnivore diet is the only diet that anybody should ever be on.

Nathan Tebedo: 31:15

right, right. Like, okay, that's an absolute statement. Is it true? Okay. I mean, I don't, I don't know the answer to that. And, and quite

Jim Johnson: 31:25

Can I think of any other circumstances where people have, uh, derived a healthy life using a different diet for the,

Nathan Tebedo: 31:31

right. And if that's the case. Then I can't say that the carnivore diet is that so that's that's actually just a logic exercise is really what that is

Jim Johnson: 31:39

Yeah.

Nathan Tebedo: 31:40

And so but just because an absolute statement isn't absolute doesn't mean that there isn't some truth in it Right, like there's the concept of um, you got to stop and smell the roses. They go. Is that a true statement? The answer is yes, you only have so much time on this planet and if you're constantly looking forward instead of looking in the now And then enjoy some of where you are, instead of constantly pushing towards where it is you think you should be or want to be, then you're going to miss out on a lot of things. You've got to stop and smell those roses. I've missed out on trips, I've missed out on opportunities with people, because I've just said no, because I was too busy thinking about this other thing, instead of going, you know what, I should just go on that ski trip with these people. I would probably remember that and love that, right? So there's that truth. But then there's this other statement. Would be like do things now do things people. What is how's that statement go? Do what others won't so you can live like others don't

Jim Johnson: 32:41

Hmm.

Nathan Tebedo: 32:43

right? So you go, okay So now I've got this statement that would say that if I want to live better more Wealthy more whatever than other people do then I got to do things now that other people aren't willing to do

Jim Johnson: 32:59

So I can't take time to smell the roses anymore.

Nathan Tebedo: 33:01

Is that right? So now all of a sudden I'm not stopping to smell the roses. I don't have time to stop and smell the roses because that's what everybody else is doing, which isn't true. So now you've got this idea that, yes, it is true that, that not a lot of people save money and manage their money very well. Not a lot of people eat real, eat right and try to invest in their body really well, like all these kinds of things. But you also have to realize like, wherever it is you think you're going to get to, you might not get there. I have a friend. I have a friend and three weeks ago, two weeks ago, three weeks ago, he is, he was, uh, I think 52, died of a heart attack, probably not the healthiest guy on the planet. Okay. Sure. But he died of a heart attack in his early fifties. Wonderful man. Wife, daughters. His daughters are fortunate. I mean, fortunately or unfortunately, his daughters are older now, so they did get him as children. His daughters are like out of the house. Okay. Okay. Whatever that time was. I just found out about a guy in one of my, I'm in this men's group, and uh, one of the guys in my men's group has a neighbor who was 42, died of a heart attack. So, do things that people won't so you can live like people don't. Stop and smell the roses. So you can't. So all of a sudden, like I think this, this concept, the proper prosperous human, right? Uh, alkaline acidic, like two, two ends that are acidic and an alkaline in the middle

Jim Johnson: 34:39

Well, you got, you got alkaline on one end. Think of that as being, um, the positive neurons, okay? And so that's the extreme way of it. Hardening, building an exterior and being corrosive because of that. Or acidic, way on the other side, the negative side of things. And that's where it's eating away. Right? Like, those are the two concepts. And we want to, we want to try and live in that sweet spot in the middle. And you just said these two things are diametrically opposed that are very extreme. But there's something in the middle there.

Nathan Tebedo: 35:10

well, if you take each one of them as an absolute statement, then they, they either, both of them are detrimental.

Jim Johnson: 35:17

Mmm.

Nathan Tebedo: 35:18

That's, that's the truth of the matter. They are diametrically opposed. However, there is truth in both of them.

Jim Johnson: 35:24

Stop too long and smell the roses. Everything passes you by. You go after everything so hard you miss the roses and you miss the things that are important.

Nathan Tebedo: 35:31

That's right. That's right. So, you know, or you mismanage your time now and then you're now you're in real trouble in the future. Okay. So that's where I think like, that's where my thinking that like, is this true or is this not true? Then I got to figure out, well, can I figure, think of a situation? That's the complete opposite of this statement. If I can, then it means that statement is not absolutely true. Um, it doesn't work with

Jim Johnson: 35:54

some truth to it.

Nathan Tebedo: 35:55

but yeah, but it could definitely have truth. To it

Jim Johnson: 36:00

And I think more of us could stand to approach the world that way. Instead of going, Hey, I'm all on board for your thing. And I'm going to jump on the bandwagon for the all or nothing attitude. Or you're an idiot. And I'm going to go over here. I'm going to be with these people because of this thing. That's the other viewpoint. It creates this divide between us where actual truth. Or the reality of things, maybe is a better way to say it, is somewhere in between. I found it really interesting, um, because I don't like to talk politics. I quit talking politics a long time ago.

Nathan Tebedo: 36:36

for you. I just, I want to, I just wanted like, there was this one, it just came to mind for me right now. And it, and it has to do with like the adjustment in thinking and being able to see a thing from a different direction. I saw a social media post and this dude was literally took a picture of a project, a working project. In this case, they were on a roof and they were roofing and I think it was Christmas Eve. And this person had said something to the effect of Okay. Working on Christmas Eve. Where are you at? This is why you're broke. Right. And so I read that and that has this, just this flavor of grind and hustle to it. And I'm over here thinking, and I'm over here thinking you're working on Christmas Eve because you're broke. Right? Like if there's just.

Jim Johnson: 37:24

the case. I'd love to talk to that person and ask

Nathan Tebedo: 37:26

I'd love to ask them because I'm over here thinking, God, if you have to work on Christmas Eve, like if you choose to work on Christmas Eve, because you have to, I know a lot of people have to, I get it. I'm not making judgments against you if you work on Christmas Eve, but just thinking about this dude, you know, like, where is that coming from? And then making a statement like that. And I'm like, I got to put my thought into this because I think some people that might grab them. They'd feel guilty that they're not working on Christmas Eve.

Jim Johnson: 37:51

Yeah, like that's the part. What's the emotional impact to others when you make statements like that? And if you aren't Emotionally intelligent enough to go, Hey, wait a second, that guy could have put him in a position himself in a position where he has to, or maybe he's just not religious and he doesn't care. There could be a million different reasons why he's chosen. Maybe he just doesn't know any better how to build up the book of business he needs so that he doesn't have to work because he hasn't learned the thing he needs to learn yet. And so there's all these different reasons of why people are. Putting out these absolutes on things and like, Hey, if you're not this, you're not anything type of

Nathan Tebedo: 38:35

never talk to that guy. You know, more than likely I'll probably never talk to that guy. But the question that I had asked myself is how does that affect me? And what do I do with that? And that's just a social media example. And there's, you scroll social media, you're going to get 800 of those things trying to affect you

Jim Johnson: 38:51

it your responsibility to be the savior of the world? Right? Like

Nathan Tebedo: 38:54

so anyway, it's just thought about,

Jim Johnson: 38:57

which is really, and truthfully a big reason why I actually decided to do this thing. I don't have time to answer all of those. Um, cause I don't, I would never go after that person with a. Dude, um, that's not the truth. This is the truth. Like I never go with it that like, why do you feel that? And why was that important to you to post it at this time and this day? And how do you think that makes other people feel? Like I would be very tactful and hopefully wise in my question asking to better understand the situation so that I could, um, either go, yeah, I get it. Or maybe mentor if possible. I don't think we take enough time for that. We make this snap judgment. That sucks or that's great. One or the other. And then we don't do anything about it. I didn't want to do any of this. This isn't what I want to do. I have this coaching business over here. Really like it. We do a lot of good with it. But this is something I just have felt compelled to get people. If this does nothing more than get you to think five more seconds than you would normally think about something, I've done my job. I've done my, I need you to think. Because I think, personally, that we have become a society that operates off of fact. And I put big air quotes if you're just listening on that. in a, um, vacuum that is our environment. Somebody says, this is the way to do it. I've seen that guy be successful. I'm going to go do it that way, which he did it through all hard work and bust his ass and did 80 to 100 hours a week. Where I, on the other hand, look at that and go, that sucks. Don't want to do that. That sounds terrible. And I have this beautiful position that's different than Nathan. Nathan's got these little bitty guys running around the house. I have these a lot older ones, and they have seen what that type of approach for me did to me and our family and everything else. And then they've seen the opposite of that as I had kind of my radical shift in my thinking. I just didn't know what I needed to know. I can accomplish what that guy accomplishes in a fourth, a half. Whatever the amount of time, because now I know something he doesn't know, I went and did the work to get deeper and learn something that I don't have to work that hard to get there. And so there's, I want to really challenge people to be curious beyond just the surface, instead of being emotional about the thing you hear. I think that's where our first, um, our first reaction or our first action that we take is to react with emotion instead of react with thought.

Nathan Tebedo: 41:41

Yeah, our, our emotions, our emotions tend to, like people say, we got to control your emotions and the older I get, the more I think you can't really control your emotions per se. Uh, I think that you can temper them. And that was actually kind of a thought of another thought that I was having is like your mental strength. And ability will coral will directly correlate to your ability to manage your emotions. Um, because I do think that emotions are oftentimes a knee jerk reaction, and a lot of his personality, some of it is just how you were raised and. I don't, I haven't met anybody who's selected how they were going to get raised. And so you didn't really have any choice around that kind of thing. Um, and so your, your, your mental capacity, your mental strength, your ability to inform and have a powerful internal dialogue will have a direct impact on, on how you act and respond. And some of you guys will probably know this, like. Inside of us, and maybe some of us more than others, there's just an internal storm. And I'll just speak for myself, there's an internal storm that happens often. And it's just a storm of, of emotions, of thought, of, of confusion, of being overwhelmed, or of, or strength and energy trying to go somewhere. Like, it's just constantly, and on the outside, somebody would, you know, just be like, Oh, you know, there's Nathan sitting there looking dumb, you know, but inside there's all of

Jim Johnson: 43:12

I say that all the time.

Nathan Tebedo: 43:15

all this stuff going on in your, but none of that necessarily needs to come out in the way that I feel it inside. So my mental strength and my, my mental abilities are what will inform, um, um, what I believe helped me to challenge what I believe. And then sometimes just know, okay, what I'm feeling right now is not. I don't know where it's coming from, but if I think about the facts of my life and what I'm in and what I'm doing right now, it's not real. I don't really have a reason to feel the way I'm feeling right now, so it's coming from somewhere else. Maybe, maybe not, not facts or reality. It's like people that have those knee jerk reactions and they go, well, I'm just saying it like it is. And you're like, no, no, you're lighting fire on things because that's how you feel. And just because you feel a certain way does not, does not mean that what you feel is fact like who's that with the facts don't care about your feelings, whoever it is, like I've heard that. Um, so

Jim Johnson: 44:20

Don't care about your facts.

Nathan Tebedo: 44:22

the feelings oftentimes don't care about the facts. So that's why I think mental strength in, in, in, in understanding of your beliefs is so true because sometimes I have to tell myself the truth about my own life. Like I, as an example, sometimes I

Jim Johnson: 44:38

I I was gonna ask you about that. Like

Nathan Tebedo: 44:40

I like, I get real angsty sometimes about where I'm at, like, Oh, I, uh, I don't have enough money in the bank right now, or my investment portfolio doesn't, doesn't look, look where I'd like it to look, which it'll never look that way. Right. And people have twice as much as I do. Don't think their investment portfolio looks right. Um, physically, I'm not, gosh, I should be a little further down the road physically, or I lose patience with one of my kids. And I'm like, I should be more patient than this. You know, or I'm

Jim Johnson: 45:11

was a big one for me. That was a big one for me. I should be more patient with my kids.

Nathan Tebedo: 45:14

know, like, I'm worried about the future, right? If I just sat down and took a mental inventory of what my life looks like and where I've come from, and I think, I have an extraordinarily wonderful life, and I probably felt in the past, I have felt the angst and the issues that I'm dealing with now, and I'm in a better position now than I was then. So how real is what I'm feeling and what I'm going through because I, whatever that was, it was in the past. I got through of it. I got through it. And my life is better now than it was then. So why can't I take the fact and the realization of that and then just squash that right now? And why do I even deal with it at all?

Jim Johnson: 45:59

Is it ever gonna be as good as you think it's gonna be?

Nathan Tebedo: 46:02

So, so, so the truth of where I'm sitting, it wasn't like this natural thing, just running through my brain, creating this tranquil, you know, Um, tra la la type feeling in my life all the time. I'm still dealing with it even though my life is way further down the road and in better shape than it has been in the past. But my mental, but, but, but I have to rely on my mental strength to take stock of where I am and what my life has looked like and go, you know what, I've got no reason to believe that That my life won't just continue to get better as I get stronger as I continue to work as I continue to grow and Continue to mature. I'm gonna hit a road bump somewhere down the road for sure But I've hit road bumps in the past and I got through those too. So unless it kills me I'll I'll just kind of keep on going So what do I have so then the facts like from my mental ability to grab hold of them Then begin to temper those emotions. I'm begin to okay. Just take a breath. Take a deep breath. Just calm Okay and just Settle in that place. Don't just jump on social media because that'll only make it worse. Just don't, don't just start listening to music. Just sit in that, in that, that place for a minute and let truth affect you. Right. And then, then begin to take your steps forward. The other thing I noticed,

Jim Johnson: 47:25

That takes some discipline, like that takes this awareness. Number one, mindfulness. And then this discipline. Because I don't think most people do that, man. I think you're a unique individual out there that goes, Okay, I'm not feeling right about the world. I'm not where I need to be. You know, you recognize that these emotions are boiling up. And you go, wait a second. Let me consider that. Is that true? Why do I believe that? Okay, well, look back at the past. Here's the proof of that. I don't think, I don't think that takes you, I don't know, a couple minutes, maybe. I think, I think people take a couple of seconds. I think they just keep living in that emotion. It keeps eating at them. It keeps

Nathan Tebedo: 48:06

they try to distract themselves from it

Jim Johnson: 48:08

Yeah, and then that's why distraction is so valuable.

Nathan Tebedo: 48:11

drugs, do a social media, drugs, alcohol, like it can be anything like go, go listen to music, go talk to somebody. And then all of a sudden, like, they're just trying to tamp down those emotions and create an input that gets rid of them. But those things all, they're still sitting in there.

Jim Johnson: 48:27

Well, I've heard both you and I say this before. In different circumstances, in different places. Um, but I can tell anybody what they desire. Really quickly. What's the thing you think about the most? What's the thing you do the most? That's what you desire. Absolutely. Like there's just no ifs, ands, or buts about it. Um, we have to take stock of what is it that we're saying and acting upon to understand what we truly desire. Because if that's off from who we want to be and who our identity is, we're going to be off kilter

Nathan Tebedo: 49:04

Do we, is there a belief inside? That you're not recognizing and that

Jim Johnson: 49:10

all day.

Nathan Tebedo: 49:11

is driving some actions and behaviors, but in your mind, you know what you should say, and so you say, Oh, I'm all about this, or I'm all about that, but your behavior doesn't match because in reality, there's a belief in there that maybe you haven't acknowledged. Um, and because you haven't acknowledged it, you're, you're constantly going to have this weird dichotomy and it's not like you're fooling yourself because you kind of know it's there, but you're just afraid to address it. And so you, well, a great one, I think it was Reggie was talking, Reggie and I have talked about this and I think he did a video about

Jim Johnson: 49:42

Okay, everybody. I know you don't know Reggie. Reggie's an amazing human being. If you haven't watched his stuff or participated, go follow Reggie Brock. He's amazing. All right, continue.

Nathan Tebedo: 49:52

So what I'm

Jim Johnson: 49:52

of our good

Nathan Tebedo: 49:53

so like, one of those things is, um, when somebody, somebody says that they're doing things for their family.

Jim Johnson: 50:02

Liar!

Nathan Tebedo: 50:02

I'm doing this for my family doing what for your family. I'm they're working 80 hours a week They're not taking care of themselves physically. They're not taking care of themselves mentally Their wife is getting a bit neglected their kids barely see them and I go whatever it is You're doing is horrible for your family. Oh, but I'm doing it for my family Are you really because if you were to sit down and ask your family what they'd rather have The more expensive sneakers or time with their dad or their mom. Okay. Guess what? Your kids are

Jim Johnson: 50:36

If they answer the more expensive sneakers, you've got more going on in your world than you

Nathan Tebedo: 50:40

you need to

Jim Johnson: 50:41

time to get curious.

Nathan Tebedo: 50:42

with your kids. Right? So that underlying belief that you have. might, you may not be acknowledging it, but it's reflected in your behavior. And so there's some other things too, that go into this, that I've also noticed, um, with like mental fortitude, strength, um, and abilities to think number one, um, your physical body has an enormous impact on your emotions and your ability to think. And your control. So in other words, sometimes I will notice my cortisol levels going up, like my stress hormones, my, um, is it cortisol serotonin?

Jim Johnson: 51:23

uh,

Nathan Tebedo: 51:23

forget cortisol, right? So the cortisol, I know I'll notice my cortisol levels going up. I'll get anxious. I'll start to feel a little, I hate even using the word anymore, but like anxiety, like, you know, I will feel that before I feel hungry.

Jim Johnson: 51:38

courtesan,

Nathan Tebedo: 51:39

So sometimes I don't think I'm hungry, but I'm feeling this and I got to go, when was the last time I ate? And I'm like, Oh my gosh, like I go, I go, I go have like, you know, I go grab a, grab a snack real quick and you know, whatever. And all of a sudden that stuff comes down and I'm like, holy cow, I didn't think I was hungry, but I'm over here getting angsty and anxiety and I'm anxious and I'm frustrated or whatever. I just need to eat, but I didn't notice I was hungry. Okay, so this,

Jim Johnson: 52:07

I'm that way with the sleep thing. I like, I'll notice throughout the day that I'm, I'm not on top of my game. I'm not as quick to, to have an answer. I am not able to stay on task as long as I normally do. And if I just. Look at that and then look at the data because I wear one of these little deals right there at the lube man. I'm like, Oh, I slept for five hours and 20 minutes last night. No wonder my brain isn't doing what it needs to do. So our, our physiology has everything to do with our psychology.

Nathan Tebedo: 52:39

well, and moving your body. So that's the next one. Like, I don't know how many of you have done this. I know it happens to me. I will feel just fine. Nothing seems off. All my meters, all my gauges like seem like they're in the right place and I just, I go do a workout. I go do a workout and I feel, I feel way better even though I didn't feel like I needed to feel way better and then I like, I have more love for my wife. I've got more patience for my kids. If I was feeling any kind of angst and it could be as easy as going for a walk, So what I'm saying is, in order to build that mental strength, capacity and ability, there are other factors other than sitting down and chanting OM with your eyes closed in silence. You need to make sure that you're eating, that you're sleeping, you're drinking water, right, and then working out. They've got some studies, a lot of them out there, that um, that if you're somebody who struggles with depression, and if you say, I want you to hear me, I'm not a doctor, I'm just telling you that these things are

Jim Johnson: 53:41

not here to give medical advice.

Nathan Tebedo: 53:42

Hey, I'm not giving medical advice, but there are studies that show. That rigorous physical activity, working out, moving your body, okay, can have the same impact on you or better or greater than SSRIs.

Jim Johnson: 53:58

What's SSRIs?

Nathan Tebedo: 53:59

And SSRIs, I forget what SSRI stands for, but think about like, um, like mood altering

Jim Johnson: 54:06

Oh, got some, got some

Nathan Tebedo: 54:08

You think about like,

Jim Johnson: 54:09

alternative sources.

Nathan Tebedo: 54:11

yeah, you think about like Xanax, you know, and drugs that are prescribed for like anxiety

Jim Johnson: 54:15

Ah, so you're talking about like, um, some of the stuff like kids dealing with ADD, um, any of those like hypertension type things. They put you, high blood pressure, they put you on all these drugs to treat the symptom where the root cause is, hey, guess what? You're probably not getting the exercise that you need. I, I can actually relate to

Nathan Tebedo: 54:36

I'm telling you there, there's a bunch of studies out there that, you know, before you get hooked on Xanax, you should just go try and working out for 30 to 45 minutes a day. And they have studies that show it's actually has a better impact on your mental. your mental position in place. So if you're talking, we're talking about mental curiosity and mental strength and mental fortitude, it's more than just being able to sit and think you have to, you have to give your body the ability to do that. So you've got eating, sleeping, drinking water, you've got working out. Okay, if you want to, if you want your brain to be sharp. And then there's a third one that I discovered two years ago. And this one, once again, you gotta, you gotta go listen to Reggie Brock, sorry, love the man to

Jim Johnson: 55:21

that was four of them so far, but, okay,

Nathan Tebedo: 55:24

Oh, you're right, so, um, the next one was for me, is you have to engage your brain in something else. Now this isn't, this isn't the same for everyone, so it probably looks different for everybody, but as a,

Jim Johnson: 55:37

this is one of those truthiness, it can be true, but it may not be absolute truth for every

Nathan Tebedo: 55:43

so here, I will venture to say that this is absolutely true, it just looks different for different people.

Jim Johnson: 55:50

Okay.

Nathan Tebedo: 55:50

Okay. So for example, so as a, as a coach, so I do one on one direct coaching with small businesses, contractors. Okay. It is an overwhelmingly mental job. Like I'm sitting at, I'm sitting right here. This is where all the magic happens right here. Like I'm sitting in my office. Um, and, and so I'm not lifting weights. I'm not, I'm not tearing, I'm not digging holes. I'm not physically engaging with anything, but I mentally engage with my clients and there's an emotional engagement there as well. Okay.

Jim Johnson: 56:18

Well, there's a stress, there's a stressor there too.

Nathan Tebedo: 56:20

And it is a stressor, right? So you, so as I'm working, there are certain muscles and certain pathways in my brain that are constantly being accessed as I'm doing this thing. But there are other places in my brain that need engagement so that those other places can take a break.

Jim Johnson: 56:41

What do you mean by that? Explain more.

Nathan Tebedo: 56:43

So here's, here's a couple of things that, that I did that I discovered had a huge impact on my ability to engage those places by not engaging them. Okay, so for example, and once again, I don't recommend this for everybody, I have a motorcycle. And here's the thing about that motorcycle. Okay, first of all, it's a murder

Jim Johnson: 57:00

I have an insurance policy on

Nathan Tebedo: 57:02

It's a murder machine. It's a very, very, very fast motorcycle. Um, but when you ride that motorcycle, you cannot daydream. Because everyone else on the road is literally trying to kill you. So you, you have to be

Jim Johnson: 57:18

it. See, there's one of those opinions that I wonder if that's absolutely true or

Nathan Tebedo: 57:22

I don't think they're trying, they may not be trying to kill you on purpose, but they're trying. Um, and so you have to be so sharp. And so in the moment, and then also thinking numerous, numerous, numerous steps ahead about what's out in front of you, that person who needs to make a right hand turn. Do they see you? Do they not see you? Are they moving? Are they not moving? What's going on? Right? So all the other stuff I do in my coaching. I can't be thinking about any of that. I can't be thinking about my clients. I can't be, I need to be on that bike and purely present and everything else that loves to run through my brain has to go to sleep. It has to. And so there's a whole nother part of my brain that's being engaged. And when I get done riding my bike, when I get off my motorcycle, I take a deep breath and then go change my pants. I'm just kidding. It hasn't happened yet, but I take a deep breath. Um, and I can just feel. That everything else feels and then here's another one that happened This was my one of my first introductions to it is what's up?

Jim Johnson: 58:26

you feel like the things you weren't thinking about that you're now thinking about are better thought about?

Nathan Tebedo: 58:33

Yes. Yes I took a break from and once i've taken a break from those things I can think about them more calmly And I can think about them from different angles because i'm in a different place because I set

Jim Johnson: 58:45

not out to kill you.

Nathan Tebedo: 58:46

Yeah, that's right. I was trying not to die and that that that'll get your focus so

Jim Johnson: 58:52

I think, I think people do this. I think this is a thing that a lot of people do. They may not realize what they're doing, but once you're aware of it, for me it's mowing the lawn. When I mow the lawn, I don't have music on, I don't have my phone with me. I'm a little bit OCD about things, like one blade of grass is going to piss me off and I have to make sure, and I mow it in certain patterns, and like, I'm just like really focused on this thing because I really enjoy doing that thing, and the reason I enjoy doing that thing is because I'm not thinking about it anymore. I'm literally 100 percent disengaged. It is just me, the mower, and that darn grass that has to get to be the way it's supposed to be.

Nathan Tebedo: 59:34

the big one that grabbed me too was um For me, for me shutting my brain off, and I know this affects a lot of people, shutting your brain off is very difficult to do and probably impossible. Like you're always thinking about something, right? So you got to put another, you have to do another input. And so I took a day and I actually wrote about this a few years ago. I took a day and I went and walked 18, play golf by myself. Okay. Which if you play golf, I feel like playing by myself is way less stressful because there's nobody there to see what I'm doing. So, um,

Jim Johnson: 1:00:10

Can't wait till Saturday.

Nathan Tebedo: 1:00:11

Oh my gosh. So, but playing by myself, I did, I didn't get a cart. I walked it. And that game is engaging enough to the point where you have to think about what you're doing. You have to think about your shot, think about your stance, think about where you're aiming, and then when you're walking to your ball, wherever you hit it to, for me, God knows, somebody's backyard, like, you have to be thinking about your next shot, okay? You have to be thinking about all the snakes in the woods, where my ball is, whatever it is. So, that takes that, that thing away, but my brain is still engaged. And so I walked 18, and I got home, and I felt like a new man. I'm not saying everybody has to play golf, but a whole different part of my brain, my brain still had to be active and it still had to be engaged and it was still firing like crazy, but it wasn't on this other stuff. And then that rest allows me to engage that stuff that I get. So in other words, if you're engaging the same thing too much, you need to find something that allows you to put it down,

Jim Johnson: 1:01:14

So, can we put down our businesses every once in a while?

Nathan Tebedo: 1:01:18

especially your business.

Jim Johnson: 1:01:20

Hang on, put down your work every once in a while? I think people, um, don't understand the value, because you were talking about the things with your physiology, your body that you got to do so that you are mentally where you need to be. The one other one I would add there is recovery. Rest, this time of

Nathan Tebedo: 1:01:39

that's probably also what's happening. Yeah.

Jim Johnson: 1:01:41

yeah, is impactful on your mental side of things. And that's why this isn't like an in order thing of these seven things. It's a doorway into each one. They tend to intermingle quite a bit. They affect each other quite a bit. Um, one, one last thing on, on curiosity. This is a question for you directly. Do you go around in just your world, you're trying to prove people wrong all day long?

Nathan Tebedo: 1:02:12

Just you, Jim.

Jim Johnson: 1:02:14

Um, I didn't know if it was just me or if you do that with everybody. Um, and, and so first of all, do you? Secondly, if you do, is it healthy? And thirdly, if you don't, why not?

Nathan Tebedo: 1:02:27

Okay, so, um. I'm questioning everything constantly, um, and sometimes I run into stuff and I'm like, that seems pretty right. That seems pretty spot on. Okay. Sometimes I run into stuff and I'm just like, like on its face. I'm like, no, that's, that's not right. And what I'm doing generally is trying to figure out what I should be taking things from and what things I shouldn't take from, you know, because if I say, Ooh, that's generally pretty right. If it is pretty right, is that something that needs application in my life? Do I need to apply that thing? Okay, like, is there a place in my life I need to fit this bit of truth that I've discovered or that I've heard or seen or whatever? Is there a place in my life I need to plug that in? So that I can continue to grow and get better at being whatever the heck it is I am. So proving people wrong is less important to me in general until you start talking about people that I love and I'm close to. When

Jim Johnson: 1:03:33

Then you really want to prove them wrong.

Nathan Tebedo: 1:03:34

Well, I, those are people who it's a safe place to engage the right or wrongness of our thinking. Like, like, if, if,

Jim Johnson: 1:03:47

So it has to do with like depth of relationship.

Nathan Tebedo: 1:03:49

it has a lot to do with depth of relationship. I don't want, um, Now, I don't, I don't want my daughter walking around thinking that she can pick up any plant and eat it. That's bad thinking, and it's false. Okay? So that's just a real basic, simple example, okay? Um, that would be bad thinking, and I'm going to work with her to know, Hey, you can't just pick up any plant and eat it, because, technically speaking, most plants are really, really bad for you. If you think about it, right, you can eat just about any animal and be okay. Can't eat any plant. Anyway, that's just a side note. So yes, cardboard diet for everybody.

Jim Johnson: 1:04:27

So many things go through my head with you living in Colorado. Continue.

Nathan Tebedo: 1:04:33

then if I broaden that out to other people in my life, I become more concerned about. The people who I love and care about their thinking, and they, I hope, are also concerned about mine. And so, if I'm listening to one of my siblings, or I'm listening to a friend, or we're having a conversation, I'm hearing something, and I'm like, I don't think that's true. And if you go on believing that, That could be really detrimental. It's my job to at least to point that out, or at least explore that with them because I don't want them to get hurt. Now, it doesn't mean I'm absolutely right, but

Jim Johnson: 1:05:11

Yeah, I was going to ask if you ever had a situation where you thought the other person was wrong and you found out you were.

Nathan Tebedo: 1:05:16

I have, I've had conversations where I was like, Ooh, here's my take on it. And then maybe a new piece of information I didn't know was added. And then all of a sudden it changes everything about that situation. I'm like, Nope, actually, you're right on that. Based on that. Yep. No, I agree. And I got to change my mind on it. So you have to be flexible in it. And you got to be willing to, you got to be willing to have somebody do that to you. If you walk around constantly giving other people the truth, and you're not willing to take any, then you're probably more wrong than you think.

Jim Johnson: 1:05:45

Ooh, that's really good. I think that's so good. That's like, that's a mic drop. End of show.

Nathan Tebedo: 1:05:53

I don't want to drop this mic, it's expensive.

Jim Johnson: 1:05:55

there's just so like, even this conversation, there's so much more that I want to dig into and uncover and just really be curious about because you've put so much effort and time into thinking about these things that I find interesting. I hope that the listeners have found this interesting. I think some of your takeaways on this. is, first off, I think Nathan has it right. Question everything. That doesn't mean try to prove everything wrong, necessarily. But question everything. Like, get the data, the facts, the supporting documentation. Don't just take somebody's opinion as truth, especially if it provokes you. If it provokes you to go, Oh, I don't like that, or, Oh, wow, I really love that either side of that spectrum, you should probably question where the truth is in that and, and why you felt that way about that. Why did it provoke you so much? Or why did you enjoy it so much? What, what in your belief system is promoting that? Um, the other things I would, I would do, um, is I would, I would consider following this, um, way of thinking about the world and thinking about yourself and your own identity, your values. What you believe in is, hey, what do I believe? So when something provokes you, what do I believe? Why do I believe it? Is it actually true? And do the work. Now, here's a caution. If you approach the entire world that way, you are going to be a scholar. And somebody studying all the time without doing anything. And so, my advice is, get the things you're passionate about. And Nathan brought it up, he's like, Hey, is that thing valuable to me, and should I spend effort and time on it, or should I not? Um, that's all about biology. I'm not a biologist, I don't care. So, I'm not going to take any more of that in, nor am I going to give it any more effort and thought. But, I am a this. This thing right here. Like, I, I, I'm a believer. I want to find out more about this. I'm going to investigate more into that particular thing. I have found a sweet spot for me as about three or four things. Three or four things that I really want to know better than anybody else on the planet. I already know I don't. I keep digging. I'm getting better and better and better. And, and because I'm getting depth in those individual things, where I stand in my value to others has risen. But they're only in those things. I don't rise in the other things. Nobody wants to ask me about biology. I'll screw that up all day long. But if you want to ask me about how to lead a group of people, I can probably help that. Put a lot of time and effort and energy into that. Nathan, anything else like, like you think these would be takeaways from our talk today that people that are feeling like they're not curious enough, they're not mindful of it enough, and they're attracted to it, they want to, what would be some helpful things for those guys to do? Yeah,

Nathan Tebedo: 1:08:55

I just, my encouragement, really, Um, it's just going to be ask yourself how distracted you are, find some time to think in a quiet place and prepare the ground to be fertile for your thinking. So we mentioned those, those pillars like eating, sleeping, you know, drinking water, working out, and then relaxing your brain with other mental exercises, right? Make sure the ground is fertile and then be open to being wrong and be, you know, be open to being challenged and then walk in humility.

Jim Johnson: 1:09:35

there's a, there's one piece of this that I don't want to miss because I think if we do, we might do a disservice. That quiet time, absolutely valuable. One of the most important things you can do. You will seek wisdom and find wisdom much better if you do. But if you don't take the things that you believe and find a group of people in a circle that you can trust to say, hey, this is where I've gotten with this thing and this is what I've learned and what I believe about it. What do you know about it? And what do you think? Am I, am I on the right track? And I have found this to be the most valuable way of progressing and personal growth and personal development and those things. I work it all the way to the, where I can take it. And then I go ask somebody like Nathan or Reggie, Noah, who's on my team as well. Uh, a guy that was on our podcast before, Mark Turnage. A guy that's going to be on our podcast that hasn't, isn't out yet, uh, Bishop Mike. But like these people, I go to them and say, Hey, this is where I've gotten on this thing. And I know who you are and what your three or four things are. What do you think about that? Am I on the right track on the tangent? Is there anything there that has some untruth to it or that needs to be investigated further? If there is, where do I go? Because I don't know. And that circle, man, has made things I do and the things I'm after and the things are important to me so much easier to find clarity on and to actually continue to pursue at an even deeper level. And Nathan, do you have a group of folks like you see you laughing?

Nathan Tebedo: 1:11:11

I, yeah, I do. I do. Um, I do have different groups of people and I know certain people have certain strengths in some places than they do others. And so there's some people I go to about certain things that I wouldn't go to them about this other thing. And so. You know, and that, that's another thing to identify, but you got to have that group around you because if you don't have anybody around you that you can trust to give you, give you the truth, then you're literally just walking around in your own echo chamber. And even the most powerful thinkers that there are can't survive inside their own echo chamber and be consistent, um, and be healthy. Like, I was just thinking about what you were saying. I was laughing because I was like, we're, just accept that we're all wrong about some, there are things I'm wrong about right now. I don't even, I just

Jim Johnson: 1:11:57

I'm wrong about more than I'm right.

Nathan Tebedo: 1:11:59

I'm, I'm wrong about some stuff right now and I don't even know what those things are. So, you know, but, but you should at least think, just, just think.

Jim Johnson: 1:12:10

Because, um, like thinking, thinking about thinking, um, you, you prompted something from me. And I think this is a great exercise that the listeners might consider doing because you just did it. You just did this exercise, it's an email to a bunch of people that you trusted and you had confidence in that would give you good feedback back and based off of that feedback, it was, uh, helped you understand some things. And then you send another email, can you explain like what you were trying to, because it was into this curiosity. This is really a big reason why I had you on the show in the first place. Like, hey, this dude's uber curious. Can you explain what you did and maybe it might be helpful to others?

Nathan Tebedo: 1:12:49

Oh, Jim. I don't know if we have time for that.

Jim Johnson: 1:12:52

No, no, just, just give the outline. You don't have to give what actually happened and what came out of it, but outline it and why you did it. That's

Nathan Tebedo: 1:13:00

All right. So, um, I needed, I've been on this, this journey that I actually talked with Eric Oberamt about on his podcast a little while back, but I've been on this journey now for a number of years, weirdly enough. Um, but this journey was leading up to this point for me trying to get some self discovery about what exactly I am. Um, And I think I was talking, it might've been Heath Hicks. Actually, I can't remember exactly who it was. They were saying, nobody thinks about yourself. Nobody thinks about you the way you think about you. And I thought that's interesting. Right? So there's, that's something I got to think about. So then the thought occurred to me is, well, if nobody sees me the way I see me is the person who I see actually real. And then I went, Oh no. Right. So you want to get into some heavy thinking. I'm like, am I real? I think I am actually real. So then I said, well, then I need to figure out what is it that other people see in me or who am I? And so, um, I created some questions, um, around this topic. And then I sent those out to have conversations with people who I loved and trusted and who I'm pretty sure love and trust me to get that feedback from them. Because I was looking to create for some additional direction in my life that was more based on who I was and not based on a particular need. Um, because I think we take a lot of moves in life based on I need this, I need that, I'm in this place, and I have the freedom at the moment to make decisions around who I am. And what would be best because of who I am and not because I'm in some great need of some kind. Um, and so then I sent this out. I got a lot of feedback from these folks that helped me develop some better understandings around who I am. And then that created an opportunity for me to dive into my desires and what I wanted to do based on who I was. And then I kind of announced what those directions were going to be to that same group of people. And it was, uh, it is a very, It was a very exposing and fairly risky or dangerous exercise. I felt like, especially if you walk around with a lot of ego. Um, but it yielded, it yielded an enormous amount of positive benefit. And I've got some, some direction in my life right now that I'm going to pursue, um, until I feel like it's not where I'm supposed to go anymore.

Jim Johnson: 1:15:25

I think it's funny, cause like, I was part of that, like, one of those, I didn't answer it right away cause I'm just busy all the time it feels like, uh, when I try not to be. And, uh, I finally did. And I'm like, does he already know this stuff about himself? Like, doesn't he know this? Like, I don't, why do I have to write this up? Like, you should already know this thing. And then whenever you put the thing out, like the result of it, I'm like, of course! Like, that's it. That's what it's supposed to be. I don't see any big breakthrough in this, but it was a big breakthrough for you. I think most of the people looking at you all kind of had the same reaction like, Yeah, that makes sense. Seems like that's the perfect thing for David. And, uh, and I just think it's a great exercise for people listening today. If you want to be curious about who you are, ask everybody else who you are. It'll get you closer. It still might not be really who you are, but it'll get you a lot closer. All right, Nathan, hey man, I really appreciate it. I know we stayed on long today. Who knows, we might have to split this into two episodes. We'll see what everybody else says. We love this type of thing. And it's another reason why I had Nathan on. And why I would allow it to go a little bit longer. Find your Nathan. Okay? Whoever that may be. For me, I've got a Nathan, I've got a Reggie, I've got Mike, I've got Mark, um, I've got a Justin. I've got these people that I know I can go to real conversation about. It's conversational. It's about life. It's not about gaining the next thing or the next level. It's just about being better each day. And helping you think through the things that you struggle with, but be valuable to them to help them think through the things they're thinking. So, I wanted to set a bit of an example today of what that would look like. If you don't have people like that, be intentional about putting yourself into places where you can find that. Whether it's an association, a networking group, people at work, church, whatever it may be. There's somebody out there for you to be in community with, to be a part of your tribe that loves you, cares about you, and will put in the effort for you to help you grow personally each and every day. With that, as my friend Reggie would say, I'll shut up. Thank you very much for, uh, listening to us here at Power Spirits Human today. Nathan, thanks for being on board. Thanks for hanging out with us today. I really

Nathan Tebedo: 1:17:52

for having me. Yeah, very

Jim Johnson: 1:17:54

see. Again, there is no doubt. Um, we got a lot of guests lined up for what we're doing with this. I'm excited to see where it all goes. Um, hopefully, you know, we're going to get more eyes on this as time goes on. I started to notice it started getting shared a lot. Because we don't want anything from you, I think is the biggest thing. Like, this is all free. We're not charging anything. There is no ulterior motive other than I just want to see humans do well. Thanks a lot for hanging out with us on Prosperous Human today and we'll see you on the next episode.